Mental Health Day
Once a year I take a mental health day where I offer mental health advice to everyone I know. It’s so important to give back.
Throwing Perfect, Pro-Environment Birthday Parties for Your Children
Tip of the week: When throwing a birthday party, ask yourself, WWMEDTWLGOP? (What Would Mother Earth Do That Would Look Good On Pinterest?)
Read more about how to throw Pinterest-perfect parties that don’t rape Mother Earth.
(Photo via Newman’s Corner on Pinterest)
Dangerous Anti-Kale Propaganda!
I find this anti-kale propaganda from comedian Jim Gaffigan tremendously upsetting. If I could just have 5 minutes with Jim, I would tell him he needs to hand-massage his kale, After all, if you don’t show your vegetables love… how can you expect them to love you in return?
I have thought very hard and long about what has influenced me over the past couple of years, and since I have been at this dinner in 2008, I have given birth to two boys and I’ve left Saturday Night Live and I started my own TV show, and it’s been a crazy couple of years, and I thought who besides Madam Secretary Clinton and Lorne Michaels have influenced me? And it was the women who helped me take care of my children. It is Jackie Johnson from Trinidad and it is Dawa Chodon from Tibet, who come to my house and help me raise my children. And for you working women who are out there tonight who get to do what you get to do because there are wonderful people who help you at home, I would like to take a moment to thank those people, some of whom are watching your children right now, while you’re at this event. Those are people who love your children as much as you do, and who inspire them and influence them. So on behalf of every sister and mother and person who stands in your kitchen and helps you love your child, I say thank you and I celebrate you tonight.”
Treating Lice is Fun
Arlington, Virginia is apparently allowing students with lice to remain in school, a move that has the support of the American Pediatric Association. Bravo, Arlington… bravo. Lice is an all-natural occurrence and frankly, it’s a lot of fun to treat!
When Eddie had lice last year, we just turned it into a spa day! I gave him a quick apple cider vinegar rinse, then I coated his scalp in coconut oil and let it soak for 6-8 hours, sealing it in with a BPA-free shower cap. He memorized the dictionary to pass the time while I reorganized the closets, brought in 12 new clients for my company and did 250 lunges. As my guru always says, multitasking is like thanking the universe for the gift of life.
After we removed the coconut oil, I spritzed my son’s precious head with thyme-infused filtered water while humming Nordic folks songs (they soothe him, triggering his body’s natural immune system response). Next, a quick application of garlic paste mixed with lime juice to the scalp…and then four hours of scalp massage using a combination of tea tree oil as well as essential oils of lavender, rosemary, clove, eucalyptus, cinnamon, thyme, peppermint, oregano, and ylang ylang, all of which we’d harvested from our garden.
Easy, peasy. And he smelled so lovely!
Caring for our children is such a gift, isn’t it? Now, off to meditate.
Love and abundance,
Things from which I have consciously uncoupled*:
(*Thank you, Gwyneth, for introducing me to this beautiful term.)
Yes, But Does She Meditate?
"A fit, petite, vivacious blonde, Missy is at age 46 a wife, a mother of four kids ranging in age from 11 to 18 and all in separate schools, a partner at a prestigious Washington, D.C., law firm whose practice takes her on the road several days each month, a party maven always up for a gathering at her Chevy Chase home, a longtime friend to women who profess she’s always there when they need her, and a woman who still manages to give back to the community."
- From We Don’t Know How She Does It, an article in the latest issue of Bethesda magazine
Releasing Anger Through Knitting
Somebody addressed me as “Melanie” in an email today. I released my anger by knitting an alpaca scarf that I quickly sold on Etsy. Then I gave the proceeds to a homeless person, along with a ginger scone.
Here is a photo I took while I was knitting and having a healthy snack to calm my nerves:
(photo credit: storebukkebruse)
Naughty Shamrocks and a Creativity Tip
Happy St. Patrick’s Day, everyone! Today I used muddled arugula to make a non-toxic paste and used it to paint shamrocks on the kids’ cheeks. We had our favorite kale smoothies for breakfast, and for lunch I filled their bento boxes with organic edamame, dried sheets of seaweed and avocado slices. I wore my teal Chanel suit, because really, I’m a grown-up, I don’t need to literally wear GREEN…but I’m also naughty, so I used some of the arugula paste to paint a shamrock on my left breast. What a whimsical surprise for Teddy during our evening copulation session!
Oh, I got another promotion and raise at work, and they had another dinner to honor my contributions, leadership, magnetism and tight bod. My coworkers said they were so happy for me and not at all jealous of my meteoric rise. Danica did seem a bit pouty but her live-in boyfriend just broke up with her, and she also got a terribly unflattering haircut, so that’s probably why.
Tip of the day: Clench your butt hole to trigger your creativity.
Love and abundance,
People tell me I have it all, so I’ve graciously agreed to share the secrets of my perfect life.
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