Went to the chiropractor this morning and ended up putting HER back into alignment. Also signed her as a client for my boutique digital marketing agency. Now to do timed sprints for the 3+ mile trip to my office.
My Children Love Hanging Their Organic Underpants in the Sun
A colleague told me a horrible story this morning about her toddler spreading poo-poo all over his crib. Yuck! Little Edie and Little Eddie were both potty trained by the time they were six months old (and even that felt a little late…) They love helping me hand wash their organic cotton underpants and hang them to dry in the sun…
I’m thrilled to report that as of today, I’m back on Tumblr after a very nourishing social media cleanse. Every morning for the past few weeks I’ve lit a Jo Malone London Lime Basil & Mandarin Deluxe Candle (energizing) and reminded myself of my intention to BE. HERE. NOW. while repeating the following mantra: “I like myself. I follow myself. I am my favorite.”
“In the wake of my friend Jill Abramson’s unceremonious firing from the New York Times last week, much has been written about how difficult it is to be a confident woman in today’s workforce without being considered a b-word. As a female executive myself (I’m the SVP of a boutique digital marketing agency in SoHo) I thought now would be a good time to share my advice for being both confident and likable…”—http://saltedscarletry.com/2014/05/20/confident-without-b-word/
Take 1 pound of chia. Add 2 bushels organic kale, an acre of acai and twelve miles of flax. Blend while holding loving thoughts in your heart. Say a prayer for wounded kittens. Do 13 minutes of Kegel exercises. Enjoy.
“Mariel Hemingway gets up early, perhaps as an unconscious homage to her famous grandfather, to watch the sun rise. Each morning, while still in bed, she and her live-in boyfriend, an erstwhile stuntman and actor named Bobby Williams, begin a series of predawn exercises that consist of breathing, stretching, contemplating the things they’re grateful for and visualizing the day ahead. Hemingway then makes the bed and a pot of jasmine green tea. She fills the hummingbird feeders with organic sugar water, feeds organic soy-free meal to the brood of egg-laying hens that live in her backyard and heads back to the kitchen to prepare a smoothie.”
Thank you Goop for this outstanding Mother’s Day gift idea: A signed copy of “It’s All Good,” Gwyneth’s cookbook! What better way to honor your mother. As the Goop website says itself, “The photos are stunning, and more than just recipes, they emanate this clean and healthy (yet intensely interested in beauty and taste) lifestyle.” Viva la madre!
I always get a burst of energy at this time of day! 5-7pm is just such a relaxing window of time for me, where everything seems particularly easy. I’m charged up from an invigorating day of work and excited to pick up the kids, cook dinner, do the dishes, give the kids baths, read them stories, put them to bed, put them in bed again, reconnect romantically with Teddy, take out the trash, fold the laundry, write a few chapters of my book, soak my cuticles and prepare our overnight oatmeal for the morning. And then, of course, tantric love-making.
If she moans and coos when you touch her a certain way, it’s a good clue that she is enjoying herself and you should keep doing what you are doing.
Ladies, allow me to be direct: if the man you’re sleeping with needs advice like this, you would be better off making sweet sweet love to yourself. Try this gold-plated vibrator, and other luxury sex toys.
Silly men. Thank goodness my Teddy is such a cheetah in the sack!
Arlington, Virginia is apparently allowing students with lice to remain in school, a move that has the support of the American Pediatric Association. Bravo, Arlington… bravo. Lice is an all-natural occurrence and frankly, it’s a lot of fun to treat!
When Eddie had lice last year, we just turned it into a spa day! I gave him a quick apple cider vinegar rinse, then I coated his scalp in coconut oil and let it soak for 6-8 hours, sealing it in with a BPA-free shower cap. He memorized the dictionary to pass the time while I reorganized the closets, brought in 12 new clients for my company and did 250 lunges. As my guru always says, multitasking is like thanking the universe for the gift of life.
After we removed the coconut oil, I spritzed my son’s precious head with thyme-infused filtered water while humming Nordic folks songs (they soothe him, triggering his body’s natural immune system response). Next, a quick application of garlic paste mixed with lime juice to the scalp…and then four hours of scalp massage using a combination of tea tree oil as well as essential oils of lavender, rosemary, clove, eucalyptus, cinnamon, thyme, peppermint, oregano, and ylang ylang, all of which we’d harvested from our garden.
Easy, peasy. And he smelled so lovely!
Caring for our children is such a gift, isn’t it? Now, off to meditate.
"A fit, petite, vivacious blonde, Missy is at age 46 a wife, a mother of four kids ranging in age from 11 to 18 and all in separate schools, a partner at a prestigious Washington, D.C., law firm whose practice takes her on the road several days each month, a party maven always up for a gathering at her Chevy Chase home, a longtime friend to women who profess she’s always there when they need her, and a woman who still manages to give back to the community."
Somebody addressed me as “Melanie” in an email today. I released my anger by knitting an alpaca scarf that I quickly sold on Etsy. Then I gave the proceeds to a homeless person, along with a ginger scone.
Here is a photo I took while I was knitting and having a healthy snack to calm my nerves:
Happy St. Patrick’s Day, everyone! Today I used muddled arugula to make a non-toxic paste and used it to paint shamrocks on the kids’ cheeks. We had our favorite kale smoothies for breakfast, and for lunch I filled their bento boxes with organic edamame, dried sheets of seaweed and avocado slices. I wore my teal Chanel suit, because really, I’m a grown-up, I don’t need to literally wear GREEN…but I’m also naughty, so I used some of the arugula paste to paint a shamrock on my left breast. What a whimsical surprise for Teddy during our evening copulation session!
Oh, I got another promotion and raise at work, and they had another dinner to honor my contributions, leadership, magnetism and tight bod. My coworkers said they were so happy for me and not at all jealous of my meteoric rise. Danica did seem a bit pouty but her live-in boyfriend just broke up with her, and she also got a terribly unflattering haircut, so that’s probably why.
Tip of the day: Clench your butt hole to trigger your creativity.
What a gorgeous weekend. We all tucked away to the Hudson Valley — did you know they have Kombucha on tap up there? It’s like the Brooklyn of the north, with the added benefit of nature’s majesty. The mighty Hudson!
Teddy and I think it’s so important to expose the kids to a simple way of life, so we churned our own butter. Then we wrapped it in cellophane for the kids to give their teachers on Monday (we recently gave up dairy).
Then Teddy and I stayed up late in the hot tub gazing at the stars and planning how to invest our 401k.
Now it’s back to reality: An Oscars party at Gwyneth’s. I’m making vegan pate.
Tip of the day: When tapping your own organic maple syrup, hum the lullaby your mother sang to you as a child — the vibrations entice the sweetness out of hiding, like a child from the birth canal.
Love and abundance,
Tonight the family made bouillabaisse for the local soup kitchen, then Teddy and I helped Eddie build a pyramid for a school project. It was Eddie’s idea to use discarded VHS tapes as building materials a comment on how today’s civilization is built using media instead of natural resources.
Edie was feeling constipated, so I gave her fourteen raw parsnips and twelve glasses of water. That seemed to help.
Tomorrow: The final planning session with Bono for next week’s fundraising concert. Those inner city kids with club foot are going to have the time of their lives. (More on the origins of this project here.)
Now, off to rub my lips with locally harvested bee pollen (pictured above) to soften and plump them.
What an exhilarating week this has been! On Monday we had our annual President’s Day party where all the neighborhood families come over and we collectively reenact over 200 years of Presidential history through poetry and song. One child tried to do a beat poem about LBJ which just didn’t work at all - but, failure is an important learning tool! (That’s what I told his parents.) I made my famous Lincoln cupcakes (gluten free, of course, and I replace the sugar in the recipe with prunes) and we did sun salutations to honor democracy. A good time was had by all.
…from Paris. Teddy whisked me away this morning. Right now we’re sipping champagne after a rather athletic lovemaking session. The moon is full behind the Eiffel Tower.
Tip of the day: When attempting to convince the French room service waiter you aren’t just another boorish American, say (in a convincing French accent) “Je parle seulement un peu de Francais” (“I speak only a little French”). And show a little cleavage.
As I marinate the four wild Alaskan salmon fillets we’ll be having for dinner tonight over a bed of organic bulgur and shiitake mushrooms with a side of organic kale salad… I find myself thinking, it’s been a while since I scrapbooked. It’s time! I’m the North American scrap booking champion, after all! Off to the Paper Source for supplies. And I’ll let Teddy know to pick up a good biodynamic scrapbooking wine.
Tip of the day: To help your family spiritually thrive, clean the inside of your fridge each week with a solution comprised of equal parts organic white vinegar, baking soda and love.
I took a Buzzfeed quiz today that told me I’m most like Samantha from Sex and the City, Monica from Friends and Anna from Frozen. Actually Pixar was making an animated film based on my life but the guy who was working on it choked on a chickpea and died so now it’s in development limbo. Showbiz!
Loved my sunrise yoga practice today, and had a blast doing our weekly grocery shopping at Whole Foods with Teddy and the kids before my morning run. Then I cooked and froze a week’s worth of meals in the slow cooker before jetting off to work, where I had a tremendously productive day and was interviewed by Fast Company for an article on mindful productivity hacks and the meaning of creativity.
Tip of the day: When detangling your children’s hair at bath time, sing Nordic folk songs to calm their nerves.