Day 10: A Year of Having it All
Feeling very disempowered at work these days. It’s a real bummer. It’s the only thing in my life that makes me angry - not earning what I know I’m worth…what I made before this recession hit. (Are we still in a recession?) Daughter is darling, a joy. I love the quality time I get to spend with her at the start and end of each day. I am so grateful for my romantic relationship with my husband and for our friendship. Terrible dreams last night, about attacks and vulnerability and magic. Feeling on the cusp of a transformation…
Day 9: A Year if Having it All
I just watched The Way, a movie about a spiritual pilgrimage, and I am left feeling profound and expansive and inspired, and grateful for art, and craving travel. I want to follow in my friend Trish’s footsteps and show my daughter the world - me, Jordan, & Alison, traveling.
Today was hectic, between work and childcare, but I forced myself to stop working at 7pm and relax and watch a movie and I’m so glad I did - my mood and outlook are transformed, which makes me want to follow in my friend Catherine’s footsteps and write a novel - something that can have the effect this movie had on me, on someone else.
I found out that a team I’m working with won a big project. I’m equally excited and scared. Excited because of the income and because it’s interesting, creative work for a worthwhile cause - that’s rare. Scared because it means a commitment, and for some reason, that scares me. I hate being pinned down. I just want someone to pay me to write and perform and create - silly and childish and naive, I know, but the heart wants what it wants.
Good snuggle time with my dog today, and a good catch up call with a girlfriend I’ve known since kindergarten - she’s like a sister to me.
Now off to join my husband in bed. TO READ, people. To read.
“You don’t choose a life. You live a life.” - The Way